Reflection

Nutribullet: Challenge Commenced

Well… it’s a miracle I made it through this challenge.  In the end it came down to one thing… preparation!  When I prepped my drinks the evening before I always drank two per day as I intended.  It was as disciplined of a challenge as I would have hoped, but definitely a learning experience.

I had continued my daily reading though this period, however, something strange happened yesterday.  I had to stop reading.  Mr. Covey’s book was bothering me on a honest, fundamental level.  Even writing these posts have now proved much more difficult.  I am experiencing a feeling of self-doubt.  I am doubting why I am doing this, for what progress?!? I am doubting if this is truly moving my mind forward or if I am externally convincing myself that I am “doing” correct actions but not, in reality, internalizing it.

I started writing these posts to help myself create clarity; clarity on my future goals, dreams, and insight into a potential path.  I heard Elizabeth Gilbert say once that everyone tells you  to follow your passion, which is heartfelt and nice advice if you know what it is.  But if you don’t… she says to follow curiosity.  It is the burning question inside of you…  What was I born to do?  She once told a story of a women who took 20 years of planning and preparation to finally make her quest come to fruition.  It started with sorrow and despair, and 20 years later she traveled the world as she had promised herself.

I believe the this challenge was less about health, and more about the principle of preparation.  Elizabeth Gilbert said that sometimes we have to take the long view on realizing our quests, but we must continue the curiosity.  I feel as if I have hit some kind of wall, a personal shell not quite ready to be unlocked.  That is why I had to temporarily pause Mr. Covey’s book.  He has been asking questions that require you to face your truth, ask yourself who you are.  The symbolism of a Phoenix keeps coming into my mind… I realize to become who I need to be I must completely let go of everything I was.  I believe I am having trouble answering Mr. Covey’s questions because I can’t hardly stand the polite “answers” I am giving myself.  It’s plain and simple bull shit.

The moral of this story is: I have not cracked my inner most, powerful self waiting to step into the light… yet.  I will need to take the long view on my self-discovery quest.  In the mean while, I will need to prepare diligently for the day the quest is revealed because my preparation will have been instrumental in our success.  I am at peace with that.

With Uncertainty and Optimism,

Stacie

 

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